RSV (respiratory syncytial virus)

Gwen has RSV. It sounds worse than it is. It is just a cold, but it could potentially develop into something worse – which it won’t. She’s four months old and it’s her first cold. As a first time mom, I was not a very effective parent today. I was paralyzed by her crying, her stuffy nose, her little helpless gurgling cough, and general fussiness. I cried uncle twice. Once my husband was walking out the door to go grocery shopping and he didn’t hear me ask him to come upstairs. The second time he was in the bathroom and I started crying because I couldn’t get her to stop crying. The more worked up I got the harder she cried until I just put her on my breast. And then she was still crying in between sucking out milk. She would take a breath to cry then glom back onto my boob, cry, suck, cry suck. When my husband got out of the bathroom, he took her from me and calmed her down. I went to go hide and cry some more. I hated myself for not being able to sooth her.

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